The Joke with a Afrikaans ending

Colin came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he often did and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep.

He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.

When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe.

"Who the hell are you?" Demanded Colin, "and what are you doing
in my bedroom?"

The mysterious Man answered, "This isn't your bedroom and I'm St
Peter"..

Colin was stunned "You mean I'm dead!!! That can't be, I have so much to
live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family....you've go t to send me back straight away".

St Peter replied "Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a catch.

We can only send you back as a dog or a hen."

Colin was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he
asked to be sent back as a hen.

A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking
the ground.

"This ain't so bad" he thought until he felt this strange feeling
welling up inside him.

The farmyard rooster strolled over and said, "So you're the new hen, how
are you enjoying your first day here?"

"It's not so bad" replies Colin, "but I have this strange
feeling inside like I'm about to explode".

"You're ovulating" explained the rooster, "don't tell me you've
never laid an egg before". "Never" replies Colin

"Well just relax and let it happen"

And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from
under his tail. An immense feeling of r elief swept over him and his emotions
got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the firsttime.

When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he
knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened to him....ever!!!

The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an
enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting: 

"Colin, skrik wakker jou dronk bliksem, jy k@k in die bed !!!"  
 
 
 

Afrikaans Joke for the weekend

Piet haat sy vrou se kat en besluit om ontslae te raak van die kat.
Hy vat die kat en ry so 2km ver en smyt hom uit die kar uit.
Toe hy by die huis kom wag die kat vir hom.
Weer laai hy die kat en ry so 5km weg en smyt hom uit.
Kom by die huis en hier wag die kat vir hom.
Hy laai weer die kat en ry 'n moerse ent.
Dan links, dan regs, dan 'n ent terug, dan weer links en regs vir kilos en gooi uiteindelik die kat weer uit.
Na 'n ruk bel hy sy vrou en vra of die kat by die huis is.
Ja, sê sy hoekom? Hy antwoord "gee die foon vir die donnerse kat. Ek het in my moer in verdwaal"

Bank Robbery In Cape Town!

A man with a gun went into a bank and demanded their money. Once he was given the money, he turned to a customer and asked,“Did you see me rob this bank?”the man replied, “Yes sir, I did.”

The robber then shot him in the temple, killing him instantly. He then turned to a coloured couple standing next to him and asked the man, “Did you see me rob this bank?”  The man replied, “Nay meneer ek hettie gasien nie, maar my vrou het!”